summer blues

According to my calculations, it's been about two weeks since i've last posted. Time flies etc. etc. It felt like a century, though. I guess this is how prisoners feel. Time drtips by and suddenly a whole year has passed.

My gang went to the beach today but i didn't follow. Too much sun, noise, the sand, Lady Gaga blaring on at the beach bars...EWH!Instead, stayed in da city, where mys sister freaked out and bought some clothes which she threw away half an hour later because she didn't like them (she has a thing called OCD) and then we put on our first laundry and now we're drinking beers and listening to Nine Inch Nails.

Well. Whatever. I hate to put up a show for the girls as my mates do. I can't stand how cocky the boys are and how plain hoes the girls are. And, to know we've exchanged saliva with him, M., only a few nights ago makes him such a big hypocrit when he's rubbing on some girl.

Anyway. School's out. I want to spend it -the summer- in front of my pc screen jerking off to hardcore porn. Is that okay with everyone? Sometimes all i want to do is just fuck it up.

But, to be honest, I can't have sex with a dude cause, I'm sorry, i've nothing against gay people and stuff, but i always had to hide my disputable tastes in literature and genrally art, because they were too "homo" and people tend to criticize this, I don't i mean, but if i were a homosexual my mother would just die.

Sometimes i just ask her half-jokingly what would she do if I were gay and she has answered repeatedly "i'd throw you out of the house" or "don't even joke about such things" which i find insulting and extremely sad and narrowminded, but then, here i am, fretting that i might actually want to get deep down and dirty with another guy.

I just think it's easier with men, and with no strings attached. Plus, girls are weird. Plus, I know nothing concerning their anatomy. Gay sex may be smelly and dirty and whatever, but i think it must be purer, it makes no demands, and it's just body on body, friction, right, plus you know better how to handle a body that's like yours, you know better how to please such a body, and guys have bigger mouths and more accomodating throats and are less sqeamish.

RIGHT?